Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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