Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
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So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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