i don't like sucking hair
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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