my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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