I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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