The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize