Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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