The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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