it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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