fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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