JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
how drunk are you?
Several
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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