Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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