There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize