hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How naked do you want me to be?
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