I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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