Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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