You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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