It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize