Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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