Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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