every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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