After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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