why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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