After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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