you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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