my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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