I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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