i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize