My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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