My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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