you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize