Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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