Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are your genitals available?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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