I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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