haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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