It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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