You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
did i just pee glitter
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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