How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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