its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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