The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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