I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna fight the coyote
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize