i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
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Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
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One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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