Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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