WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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