He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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