idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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