In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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