By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize