He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
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After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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