"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize